Picking Back Up Where We Left Off

It’s been two years since I engaged in this project. What happened? It would be easy to blame it on the pandemic, except that that’s exactly why I had started this project in the first place! The real answer is that I started a job two years ago today. And three weeks ago, I was let go from that job.

It’s painful. I don’t think the termination was fair or justified. And I loved that job! I was proud of the work I did for two years, and I genuinely believe that I helped dozens of businesses survive the pandemic and stay on their feet. I’ll be mourning the loss for a long time.

But it’s probably an apropos time to be starting something else new. I don’t know what that will be yet, but I’m open to and looking for opportunities. As the world is beginning to emerge from the restrictions and fear and anxiety of the past two years, maybe my purpose at that job was fulfilled anyway. I provided a lifeline to others, and now it’s time for me to move on.

Many of us feel like we’re “getting back to normal,” but we’re also very aware that “normal” has shifted dramatically. The quote in the photo above comes from Cirque du Soleil. I saw the shirt (but not a performance this time around) when I was in Las Vegas two months ago. To me “Intermission is Over” means that it’s time to get back to work. I’m so glad to see that performers, artists, creative types, musicians and others can move on to their next act. I hope to do the same. Stay tuned.

Hacks

Now that we’re 137 weeks into quarantine, personal hygiene services are some of what I miss the most. I know I’m not alone, because when I said something about gray hair on Facebook a few weeks ago, there was suddenly a flurry of comments about it. No services are worth risking someone’s health — mine or the workers’ — so I’m glad they’re closed. But I’m getting creative about taking care of these things at home. Here are products I’ve actually tried (and I get no $$ for talking about these; this is just genuine information that I’m sharing because it’s been useful to me):

Hair Removal
Eyebrows, I pluck myself. Legs, I shave every few days. But I’ve been going to an aesthetician for waxing services for … other hair removal for years (personal choice; no judgement on how anyone else manages theirs!) I have tried home wax kits that just really seem messy and not effective. Shaving has turned out to be painful in a rather long-lasting way. But before waxing became my norm, I used to use Veet with pretty good results. A quick Amazon search reveals that, yes, this product is still on the market. I haven’t returned to it yet but very likely will soon.

Hair
Before I had kids, I used to dye my hair myself. Now I pay a very talented person whom I like very much quite a bit of money to do that on a very regular basis. But of course, desperate times call for desperate measures! I went back to my old standby: Lush’s Caca Marron.

Pedicure
I love everything that Rinse Soap makes. When I owned my store, they were the first brand I chose to carry. I’m absolutely devoted to their body spreads, shower bombs and bath salts. I can personally also vouch for their Peppofoot Polish. You can use it right in the shower, and at least on my feet, it’s just as good at removing dry, dead skin as the scraper tool salons use.

Pros: it’s inexpensive ($27.95 for a brick; I cut it in half, so it’s really two treatments-worth). It covers gray very well. It’s pretty easy to administer all by yourself. It’s also vegan-friendly and totally natural ingredients, which is important to me.
Cons: It’s messy and smells strongly like coffee grounds. And it takes about 5 hours from start to finish to really let the color develop.

There’s no leg massage or pretty nail polish, but if you’re just trying to make your feet presentable in sandals, this is perfect! (Or if you’re tired of blankets getting snagged on rough spots on your feet. Not that I would know anything about that firsthand.)

I’m OK

Fawn Lake at sunrise on a cold February morning

I am fine. This is not to say that this isn’t a weird and difficult time; I am experiencing stress in many forms. But in general I am OK: no one in my family has gotten gravely ill; my finances can withstand this situation; no one in my household is facing major anxiety issues; and my kids are happy and healthy.

I realize this is not the case for a lot of people. Many, many people are anxious for their own health and for their loved ones. Millions don’t have adequate income. Media and government responses to this crisis have been conflicting and confusing and recommendations change rapidly.

I have had conversations with several people, though, who ask how I am, and my response is “Oh, I’m fine.” That used to be an automatic response for a lot of people, and it’s not anymore. The people to whom I’ve said this have reacted with some surprise; apparently that is no longer a standard answer. And everyone who has commented to me on my saying “I’m fine” has said that it’s refreshing to hear that. They’re hearing a lot of doom and gloom. Depression. Anxiety. Fear. Stress.

Those are all valid reactions right now. But I would encourage you to think about whether you are OK. Do you have what you need? Are you safe and healthy? Are your close friends and family safe and healthy? If the answers are no, you have my sympathy and you should feel free to reach out to anyone who might be able to help! But if the answers are yes to those questions, try thinking of yourself as being “fine.” If you have adapted to this quarantine life, if you are making the best of it, if your only problem is that you’re bored and stir crazy — be fine with that. It will lift you and others around you up if you’re able to say “I’m fine” and mean it.

Haircut Day

I won’t attempt to cut my own hair, but I was planning on growing it longer anyway. My vanity won’t allow me to go months without coloring it, though, so I have a henna treatment on the way that I will apply immediately when it arrives. But I sat the kids down today for haircuts. Miss “Don’t You Dare Touch My Hair” ended up liking it so much she asked for me to cut more. Mr. “I Don’t Need a Haircut” was satisfied with my (first-time) clipper skills. It was not quick, but it was pretty painless. And the children look decent for at least a couple of weeks.

The School Must Go On

My kids have been home from school for two weeks now. Like all the other parents I know, we’re making the best of the situation. The kids are having a ball, actually, and not in the way you might expect; they are creating their own structure and school-day schedule. My father today described it as a Montessori homeschool approach. They have to get down to business by 10:00 each morning, take a break at lunch, stop at 3:00. Within those guidelines, they get to choose which subject to do first, second, third. They are really thriving at it!

Part of it, I think, is because immediately upon finding out that they’d be home for awhile, I made the poster to the left and discussed it with them. (Note: “funtime screen time” has been a topic of ongoing conversation. Since many of the resources their teachers have suggested take place online, and because I gave some “fun” options like all of us watching Jeopardy! during lunch to count as Social Studies, we had to differentiate between screen time for school and screen time for fun.)

Impromptu barre class

Color change experiment

Tin “hedgehog” grown in a tube

They’ve been happily diving into MEL Science experiments from H’s subscription that started at Christmas. P.E. has been a little haphazard. It’s been too cold to take advantage of the outdoors. But so far we’re all surviving and even enjoying this time. Which is good, because Massachusetts just declared that public schools will be closed at least until May 4.

Dear Extroverts: We’ll Get Through This

This is one of those “there are two types of people…” posts. Introverts and Extroverts, right? Extroverts right now are missing their social gatherings: brunch, concerts, bars. Hell, even meetings probably look better than ever, just for the being out and around other people part! Introverts, though, like me — we were made for this kind of time. Staying in, focusing on solo hobbies, operating alone: these are introvert superpowers. So we are here for you, Extroverts! Adopt some of our habits and you can withstand even an extended quarantine.

The Extrovert’s Toolkit to Combat Cabin Fever

1. Get Outside. That might seem counterintuitive at the moment, when we’re all being told to stay put. Besides, Introverts hate the outdoors, right? No. Introverts just get tired out from sharing experiences with Extroverts. We like the outdoors just as much as anyone! Unless specific lockdown protocols are in effect in your area, you are allowed to go outside. Walk your dog, sunbathe on your balcony, bike on a trail, play soccer in your backyard with other members of your household. Just getting outside can help with cabin fever.
   

2. Talk to People. True, you can’t get together for brunch or watch The Bachelor with a group of people. But we’re all learning to do a whole lot virtually that we hadn’t thought about doing before. A friend yesterday told me about a birthday party where everyone was going to join a big group Facetime, since they couldn’t all get in one room. Text or live tweet a show (or even, you know, be on the telephone at the same time) with your friends. Put your laptop on the table for a virtual brunch or dinner party. Again, it’s not that Introverts don’t like other people; we have friends and we miss them too!
   

3. Create Your Own Structure. This is a tough one for a lot of people, and it applies as much to anyone who isn’t used to working at home as it does to Extroverts. One of the biggest difficulties boundless time in your house presents is the distraction of “Should I be working right now? Or exercising? Or doing laundry?” Successful time at home requires imposing structure. Set a reasonable start time in the morning (Tip: It’s OK to sleep in a little! You’re saving all your commute time!), set an alarm and get up for it. Incorporate a break for lunch. If you want to get housework done in the middle of your work day, block out some specific time for it and then get back to work. Within a week, you’ll have a new routine and every day won’t look exactly. the. same.
   

4. Slow. Down. This is perhaps the biggest difference between Introverts and Extroverts: Extroverts want continuous stimulation, while Introverts value quiet time. If you’re an Extrovert, this may be the most unnatural advice on the list, but give it a shot! Take some “me” time, as they say; try journaling, taking a bath, giving yourself a pedicure. Build a half-hour of meditation or reading into your new daily schedule. You may find eventually that you’ll look forward to these new little oases of quiet once your life resumes a hectic, outward-focused pace.
   

5. Get Shit Done. Introvert or Extrovert, this is an excellent time to get shit done! We all have lists of things we “want to do” around the house: lightbulbs to replace, paint to touch up, rooms to organize, closets to clean out. With nowhere else to go, start tackling some of those. And exercise. You know you have free time on your hands, so now there’s really no excuse. And I promise, you will feel more accomplished and less bored at the end of the day having spent two hours cleaning out a closet than spending two (more) hours binge watching Netflix.

   
   So those are 5 friendly ways that acting more like an Introvert may help you adjust to this new way of life, dear Extrovert. Your thoughts? Comment below or share.

Namaste

In our new socially-distanced reality, how to greet someone when we do meet them poses a conundrum. I’ve seen people experimenting with the elbow bump, the nod. I’ve also seen many people advocating the Hindu “namaste” — hands pressed together, palm-to-palm as in prayer, held at the level of your breastbone and often accompanied with a small bow or nod.

I fully support this gesture, as it comes from a tradition of peace and respect. It’s unobjectionable, ubiquitous throughout Asia, and already familiar to any Westerners who have studied yoga or meditation. (As well as to anyone who has seen those jokey faux-yoga slogans on loungewear, like “Nama-stay in bed.”)

What I particularly like about namaste as a greeting, though, is that its purpose in Eastern traditions is to say “the divine spark in me honors the divine spark in you.” It is a gesture of connection and equality; it honors our shared humanity. Perhaps along with adopting namaste for its respect at a distance, we can reflect on it as an opportunity to bring us together in a common human moment.